The Secret "Little" Behaviors That Can Undermine Trust and Love

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Информация о The Secret "Little" Behaviors That Can Undermine Trust and Love

Название	:	The Secret "Little" Behaviors That Can Undermine Trust and Love
Продолжительность	:	28.06
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Просмотров	:	157

I'm so grateful for the way you teach, Anna Your example and experience is so helpful I used to watch a lot of "surface self help" videos, but now I focus on channels like yours because there is truth heredeep, real truth Thank uou
Comment from : @TrueStature

He is conflicted about keeping his personal habits of using substances as coping,pleasure, and impulsive acts that disrespect healthy boundaries for himself and others br"Boundary violations" are signs of trauma and abuse in unhealthy primary relationships brHe needs to ask himself would he tolerate her doing the same things? If so, why? If not, why? Would he rather have a partner who is unpredictable and impulsive, because that's more familiar? Is he with her because she provides stability and consistency that relieves his abandonment anxiety, and thus the "parent" he needed and can't be for himself? brI was in such an unbalanced relationship that was much more extreme, including actual physical abandonment, outright lying and cheating as his normal, but him claiming "i want to be with you for the rest of my life" I didn't understand what it was at the time,but it was extremely painful and confusing If you are not honest with yourself and who you are and get stable in who you truly are, you are being emotionally abusive to yourself and others You are exploiting others for your momentary needs and stringing them along until your next "better situation" It's like you are always shopping and just clinging to her for stability that you can't hive yourself
Comment from : @annak29

I enjoyed “Women for Sobriety “ just mentioning an alternative
Comment from : @nancyharvath886

What the bleep is micro cheating? Cheating “just a little?” Cheating is cheating, micro, or macro
Comment from : @maremaid15

Sorry ray sounds shady
Comment from : @ciggytwiggy

Drinking "off the clock"? Is he a bartender?
Comment from : @rando42069

They should break up
Comment from : @bamafencer12

I would leave him so fast his head would spin…
Comment from : @marimar2525

These two are not on the same page He doesn't get it He's trying to do the least amount of good that she will tolerate and trying to negotiate down on some things She feels he's trying to rip her off Who wants a relationship like that? Be a truly good deal for her! This is a relationship that's not worth it
Comment from : @lumpyspacecadet

I drank a lot when I was young but nowadays I have the feeling I don't want to drink at all🎉I have a time when I was thinking my partner's drinking and my own too in rehab
Comment from : @reettaelina

You are in cptsd recovery and you are thinking your own behavior and others I hope you well recovery🎉 I am a long way ahead now but just having struggle again, sometimes it's harder😢sometimes it feels so easy😊
Comment from : @reettaelina

Great breakdown for what it takes to get real with oneself It's a lot of work and my experience has been that it is well worth the effort!brbrWhen it comes to the issue of rebuilding trust a couple of sayings come to mind One is "Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets" The other is "Consistent actions over time build trust" Of course there is a lot of work within those sayings I hope the best for the letter writer
Comment from : @marren6323

I feel I could of wrote this… oh my 😓🤍 thank you
Comment from : @Sgc496

What if both people are micro-cheating lol
Comment from : @robertschrader

what is the link or application process to request counseling
Comment from : @ElainePMP2008

Does this apply to a work husband? Totally platonic, and solid trustworthy coworkers? Like when my daughter called me while I was at work, she was at college, and said “I have some bad news”, I handed the phone to him He didnt know what to do and I said ask if she’s pregnant, and what she said was she failed a class But I didnt want to deal with anything bad with her because I would speak badly Outloud At work
Comment from : @motownr313

I could not wait for Anna's response Great letter
Comment from : @amorl4520

You are so insightful and smart and respectful I’d love to be able to help people this cleverly, sanely, levelley well done with your beautiful offerings to the world
Comment from : @elizabethaustin8182

All I hear is him complaining about her
Comment from : @nuthinbutluv4u142

Thank you for talking about the program!!! I spent a lot of time in coffee shops in my 20s, and accidentally made a lot of alcoholic friends The people who stuck with their sobriety and did all that work on themselves just bloomed and became so inspiringand the comeraderie was incredible to see I hope this guy gets truly sober bc he sounds very smart and capable
Comment from : @adrianalipomi9111

If you and your loved one imagine having just one day left in this life, how would your day look like?
Comment from : @SzokkozS

💞
Comment from : @MsCaterific

This man should just break up with his gf Poor woman He knows what he did was wrong
Comment from : @minamomo12

I kind of think if you truly love someone and the relationship is healthy and mutually loving, there's not much point in arguing whether something is "objectively bad" or not If it hurts them and you know it hurts them, why would you argue that you should be allowed to continue to do itbrI understand that using that logic with a controlling partner could go down a bad path but I really think if the relationship is sincere I and I know something I'm doing is hurtful to my partner, that behaviour stops regardless of what people on the internet would say "counts" or whatever
Comment from : @em97c

❤
Comment from : @tracey-lu4kx

I've got so many things to say about this and I haven't listened to much of it My apologies about that because I've listened to some of your stuff fully and liked all of it First of all, micro cheating is showing a direction Second of all I micro cheated and the direction wasn't seen Can we talk about limerence :-)? No
Comment from : @deansongs

If your in a relationship for about a year and already its going wonky and toxic its toxic End it Work on yourself
Comment from : @littleblackbabycat

Weird The similarities are honestly kind of creeping me out
Comment from : @omfghailmao

The man who wrote the letter in this video sounds A LOT like the guy I used to date
Comment from : @omfghailmao

The writer sounds so much like my ex Probably not a bad guy, but clueless/in denial about who he really is and what he actually wantsNot wanting to lose a good thing is not the same as wanting it outright, and that fault line will eventually swallow up any potential the partnership has Writer, go be you! Rather than who you think you "should" be to keep the Ole Lady off yer gd back Partner also needs to be clear about what she wants/needs and see the situation for what it is It's soo hard to give up on someone's potential In hindsight, if I'd had the awareness and tools I've learned from CCF, I would have ended it after the 3rd date instead of 12 years
Comment from : @starseed168

Anna you look so amazing 💜
Comment from : @ewa11411

When i was going through all that 'switching wine for beer', and trying to limit my drinking, it wasnt so much that i couldnt stick to those things, it was the constant obsession on it all that got too much of my time, energy & focusI wanted to have other things in my life insteadOnce i quit drinking, all that stopped & space opened for better things!
Comment from : @kathyingram3061

She may have some narcissist or paranoid tendencies Maybe she is still hurt She is also still young If you’ve truly stopped everything, she has to get over it if you two will be successful together Fairy, he DID say what…edibles & alcohol, but he stopped the edibles🙏💪
Comment from : @ADDAuntDawnDisorder

I recently left a five-year relationship with a covert narcissist sociopath (not officially diagnosed in adulthood, potentially in childhood though) This person mirrored me and said they were all these things which they figured I wanted (which they learned from data mining me) There were so many red flags from the start, but I so badly wanted to believe this person about who they said they were (I repeated my childhood with my mother)brbr Eventually, this person ended up mocking me and gaslighting me about the very things which the person said they were (sensitive, exclusive, and so forth) as if they never said they were those things toobrbrIt was really bizarre (and incredibly painful) to be with someone who thought they could just invent who they are on-the-spot, based on who they are aroundbrbr (I also suspected this person is a big-time maladaptive daydreamer--which always felt like micro cheating, by the way)brbrI would tell my (ex) partner: I have always wanted a full disclosure about who I'm signing up with I never had wanted you to be something other than who you are and I never wanted to take anything away from you But you lied about all of this And now I'm the bad guy for not liking how you livebrbrThis letter reminds me of this I hope the girlfriend does the healing work so she believes that what she wants in a relationship is what she is worthy of And if she can't find it, she doesn't settlebrbrI hope that Ray learns to be forthright and fully himself from the start so any potential girlfriends will know exactly what they are signing up for
Comment from : @coach_amy

Also, if his girlfriend would go to Al-Anon and work steps too, that would help a lot
Comment from : @bethtaylor9773

I suspect that the lack of trust has alot more to do with being unfaithful and lying not necessarily alcohol When a man doesn't keep his word and makes lying a way of life, no one is going to trust him Being unfaithful and treating her as an option yields consequences which entail no trust Blaming her for all the problems means you have'nt accepted responsibility
Comment from : @jenniferannfox2316

AA I learned sooooo much from there
Comment from : @lisaharris6176

I am wishing everyone here (myself included) love and healing
Comment from : @nennepanrikefairytaleart4773

It sounds like narcissistic bafflegab Run don't walk He wanted your praise and almost got it
Comment from : @ld9862

Water is wet, there's no version of "micro wet" Cheating is cheating, and the woman in this situation could focus on her own growth, confidence, and self-worth to realize this relationship is not for herbrI've come to learn that manipulators want to cherry pick nuances to allow for bad behavior to exist and be acceptable Micro cheating is the perfect example of this
Comment from : @Maria-yi7sr

It is always so insightful to hear Anna's opinion Incredible ! I learn a lot every time ❤
Comment from : @fiction589

I'm glad you mentioned the 'psychic change' -- I've experienced that myself recently, so it's great to hear there's a term for it I'm going to go research it now
Comment from : @ecleland979