Here is Why Grief After Narcissistic Abuse Doesn’t Go Away

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Название	:	Here is Why Grief After Narcissistic Abuse Doesn’t Go Away
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I guess the thing that hurts me the most was all the time I lost with the people who actually love and care for me and instead it was spent with the shittiest person on the face of the planet Missed holidays, missed get togethers, missed funerals, missed relationships, missed vacations, missed my parents and friends deeply for years and was put into a situation I didn’t want to be in but didn’t know how to get out Instead I was just a slave for 5 years I lost a lot during that time Financially I hit rock bottom, and I can’t even see my only best friend because he moved away after I escaped manipulation I was brainwashed way too well into isolating from friends and family for those years and it just hurt so bad on the inside watching my family get older knowing I missed those years that so badly wanted to spend with me My grandpa died and I wasn’t able to attend his funeral, and the Christmas of 2022 was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had intentionally because of the worthless piece of shit However I must say that this turned me into who I am now I have very little trust in people, always aware of people trying to take advantage of me, and I refuse to be screwed by anyone at this point I just wouldn’t let it happen I just feel very cold hearted now and it just feels like I have a harder time finding genuine happiness or just have the happy presence that I once had I used to be a 21 year old full of life, testosterone through the roof (worked out 5-6 days a week) and just ready to conquer the world Now I’m 27, and it’s been 3 months since I left the NARC I have a tremendous amount of different skills and knowledge that was gained during those 5 years but I will always question 1 Did I have to go through what I went through to gain that? & 2 Was it worth going through all of it to gain that? I definitely feel older and full of more experience but I do feel burnt out still and like my energy and drive isn’t what it was like when I was 21 and fell for the manipulation I think I need to start working out again to get my testosterone high again so that can be one thing While that may help, I guess there are always going to be those scars that I have on the inside that will just always live with me On top of that, I had gotten into some legal trouble before leaving the Narc which I’m still dealing with court and shit up until early of next year of potentially sooner I’m stuck in a limbo right now but I know I can make a STRONG comeback once my court case is through I guess I am in what they call “catabasis” right now Working on myself, recovering, healing ❤️‍🩹, surrounding myself with family and friends, saving up money, and keeping busy Things will get better I guess I never expected life to take me through a path and journey like this Anyways, I hope everyone has a blessed month of November
Comment from : @austinl4915

Yes I lost my home in Florida due to an eviction, I lost my belongings, I lost my 2 grown children who stayed in Florida, I lost my grandmother when I moved to Ohio, lost finances due to my move, I lost a job, now I'm stuck in this what seems FOREVER grief and depression 😢😭
Comment from : @sjshinaver31

That’s exactly what I keep asking myself!!!
Comment from : @user-vj4sb4hx6q

The only person asking me these things is me Why do I feel guilty? It wasn’t just me He abused our 3 sons too A I couldn’t help them I couldn’t help myself After 25 years, turning 40, and losing my mother, I was able to get away But I feel guilty that I didn’t get my boys away from him
Comment from : @user-vj4sb4hx6q

I have accepted the reality and started moving on, trying to recover myself
Comment from : @begoodfeelgood1707

Thank you for this ❤
Comment from : @joynorwood1951

It's like you smile, but you feel dead inside
Comment from : @j1925

I am at peace of mind Who says that i am griefing is plainly wrong The true narcissist is the one who grieves See for yourself
Comment from : @hermymojica3957

My pain is validbrI guess I looked this up to hear those words it’s extremely sad I know I’m not alone but sometimes it feels like it
Comment from : @janeskey5042

Very true dear DanishbrYou can't feel that pain until it happens in your life 💘
Comment from : @rajnibhatia6581

Very helpful brother ❣️
Comment from : @skymeadow7762

Grieving the loss of self And I want to see him suffer as I did The hate for him I have inside
Comment from : @sharonoliver2215

This is the first time the grief & pain of a previous narcissistic friendship has been acknowledged & validated I have been stuck for a number of years because of it I can't thank you enough for your videos and for helping others who have suffered what you have I feel like I can begin to heal Thank you & God bless you 🙏
Comment from : @f63858

"the worst trauma ever experienced by mankind" YES, that is it
Comment from : @solidcatink

I feel ashamed and sick that i felt for this sickos actbrAnd feel the grief still after so long
Comment from : @Maybeiwillmaybeiwont

Exactly what I am going through and what I needed to hear! Thank you Danish 😊
Comment from : @carolineonline2112

True, right saying about pain
Comment from : @amitad1390

Amen Thank you for your wisdom
Comment from : @user-hn1sw4cf7x

I feel like each time i was experiencing this i was oddly aware of it all So the most recent is probably more of the subconscious “dual mothership” issue being broken after separation when i didn’t even intentionally try to get in this bind with this person I was aware from so early on and still got wrapped up in it brbrI lost temporary ground in my life but at first glance that doesn’t seem to be what I’m suffering A large part of what I’m suffering is seeing another person so broken and deceptive despite my effort to completely see her and try to understand Or be willing to do things in a way that didn’t have to be hurtful but knowing that’s impossible with a narc brbrIt’s very confusing to figure out what the primary issue is cause of all the dissonance I knew it wasn’t a good person to be around i kept addressing that but got lost in my emotions and manipulation It’s just overall a large loss to take on Even not really wanting the person around there’s something bad feeling about it Not only did it end bad, there’s just the element of evil that feels like it’s still looming over me, while since she is the epitome of that, she is “business as usual” as I’ve heard since there is no-contact since departure brbrEven finding out she moved her new main supply in immediately It’s almost comical but further validates how evil this experience was Drama, victimhood, spite in your face, business as usual, “normalcy” otherwisebrbrThis is textbook and still so hard to accept and i think the reason is I’m still in contact with the primary caregiver who modeled these rships for me I always had inclinations but now it’s becoming more apparent how these model the rship with her and have carried How she responds to them is indicatory and gaslighting as well While liberating, it’s completely demoralizing brbrThe virus has spread into lots of the stuff i do and therefore most of my supports are not really supports The new ones I’ve tried to establish are only so deep The damage these people do is so vast and spans deep into the lives of the people they “raise” and come into contact with They get it from the people before them too and I’m a product of it Now i have been doing work for a long time and have a lot more to go The dust still has to settle on this previous endeavor but even once it settles The wreckage is visible Picking up the scraps one by one, trying to rebuild the crumbling foundation All the things i didn’t get way early on i have to try to somehow evoke within myself from some space i am unfamiliar with As Richard Grannon says, “this is transcendental stuff” The healing process is so intense and requires some heavy emotional lifting so much that it’s transcendental Transcending the matrix that has been created within you Transcending a whole paradigm of behavior, abuse, and beliefs That have been instilled for years Reformatting the caregivers as legitimate losses, people who are not actually caregivers at all The lies they said that they helped so much and “you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me” “i did so much for you” “you were such a happy kid” All of the scripts u were given in jest by the narcs who raised you brbrKnowing the majority of it was in genuine and just part of a script to attain a goal It was all conditional and transactional Your birth was to give them a reason to live which was never reciprocated These are all immensely hard truths to accept Even once accepted, the holes need to be addressed otherwise you’ll live hollow like them, hollow as they intended you to be Glad Danish had created this space for us all I wish all of you well on your healing journey, especially if you made it this far in the word vomit lol Much love ❤
Comment from : @akashicskies3732

Thanks, Danish! Excellent explanations, makes complete sense And the more I learn, the more I realise how bad everything has been how could a mother destroy her own children? It's so senseless! So sad!
Comment from : @hermestrismegistus3962

I feel like I am putting myself together
Comment from : @abowling5759

Stop torturing yourself 😂
Comment from : @yasminaredzovic9398

I'm experiencing another painful blow after the abuse they are gone but I'm left inside crumbling walls only I can repair and help of the sincere kind would be much appreciated it is as if I've just returned from emotional warfare
Comment from : @crystaldowling8146

Disenfranchised grief: Your approach should be used for survivors of suicide loss as well as NPD personality disorder relationship loss Survivors of suicide loss suffer these same effects but the pain of this loss is on steroids especially if you have full understanding of the pain that cluster B disordered suffer It is like being stuck in a web of hell
Comment from : @kerrytaggart8206

Thanks ♥️
Comment from : @neeruahuja2014

Living with him was the worst trauma I have ever gone through
Comment from : @dapage5

It can take 1 to 3 years depending on the severity of abuse to truly heal Thank you Danish
Comment from : @supercoffeebean

This is so true, and real You think about the years lost in an unhealthy abusive marriage It makes the pain even worse to live with When you're around the narcissists you can't even grieve what they did to you because they get angry and start to argue with you This is so horrible for anyone to go through The trauma and grief is so painful
Comment from : @queenesther4142

you are absolutely right
Comment from : @zaiqaolddelhika

It's even harder when you have kids with narcisist I have to keep seeing him and worse I am scared that he might hurt our children the same way he did to me He has another daughter with woman and he only liked her when she was with him and listening to his commands Now his daughter is old enough to see that her father is never really cared for her and it hurt her so much I feel so sorry for her I am scared now that my children will go through the same
Comment from : @isabelalilly3429

Danish!! Just as soon as I thought I knew all the jargon and terms around narc abuse, you give us another, more specific, very useful term to name something previously ignored I understand and actually Get Over this crap, more and more daily Thank you so much!! Happy New Year ❤️
Comment from : @sunnyadams5842

thank you again Danish your helping many 😊 it feels so good to be validated after decades of abuse abuse that was never even considered abuse but it was …by every legal definition…there is truly two different standards for abuse for Ladies …it’s zero tolerance, and if they don’t shape up ? get out ,get out , GET OUT!!!! but for guys ? oh come on , it can’t be that bad… suck it up be a man show no pain 😞 i tried that plan till it almost killed me Men get abused just like the Lady’s… and it hurts just as bad i read a study that said it is harder on men … because we are supposed be tuff and we never deal with it till … it breaks our Spirit…John Wayneism i call it take it on the chin and show no pain yeah right that plan failed miserably 😞 hang on guys … we all in this together ✊🏼
Comment from : @heyoldman2003

Happy new year Danish
Comment from : @jovialfaltisco548

💯!!:))!! Happy New Year!!🎁🥂💚👍🌺🌈⚓!!✨
Comment from : @mariannekoroleva6495

Proper English title is "Why Doesn't Grief After Narcissistic Abuse Go Away?" Or brbr"Why Does Grief After Narcissistic Abuse Not Go Away?"brbrThanks for your educational videos
Comment from : @ANTISCAMPOLICESTATION

When their is no closure it's so difficult to understand what destroyed this relationship, but I see it was really an illusion based on lies and future pipe dreams I was deceivedbrbr My therapist didn't understand why I couldn't move on, but she never had children and had to ask for financial help from my ex, it was shaming and hopeless If he didn't like my attitude he wouldn't pay monthly support and go silent to punish me He threatened to leave for Europe, outside of the USA, and not pay any child support at all He didn't care about me or our child I worked overtime and felt scared I wouldn't make itbrI am thankful for my parents and especially my dad, who loved his firstborn grandchild and helped These videos are so accurate and the haze of unanswered questions are revealed Happy New Year to all victims We are strong
Comment from : @jeanneparadise8200

Amazingly accurate video
Comment from : @kalvan101

Thanks Danish not everyone undestands what we go through but its comforting to know that someone understands and also what we go through is real
Comment from : @gulsiddiqui5012

Great video
Comment from : @angelyncampbell820

Yes sir you r right m going through I tried alot to move on but some time I can't help it😔😔
Comment from : @Roshni12

Danish you are so accurate, brEvery video is helpful to this community who are watching brI am realizing what all has happened that did not even know the person is NARC brGreat full to you for bringing these videos brWhich are true every word of it brGod bless you
Comment from : @mjayanthi3425

This is what I am experiencing right nowwill I get over it??? May God help me
Comment from : @samiyaabdullahi7721

I am having full blown panic and anxiety attacks since 3 days I am not feeling good Don't know when i will completely heal Sometimes it's like i really need help Don't know what help Dizziness and nausea all the day long
Comment from : @hannahmary106

This was vital - i spent all day staying away from the narc i have had to work hard - nobody gets it, i don’t even get it- but hey I’ve stayed away I needed to hear this- amazing
Comment from : @indraSilentMoonImaginarium

Disenfranchised grief……the death of myself & those I loved who were not real
Comment from : @animallover4955

It's amazing how a lot of healing is putting a label on something amorphous I definitely experienced what you just described
Comment from : @matthewdietzen6708

Thank you thank you
Comment from : @ClandestineGirl16X

The pain is mainly over time and potential squandered - wings that could have made the victim fly far and wide - being clipped off
Comment from : @simonpegg1196

Danish you are so accurate, so helpful, so understanding I wish the world understood Don't stop the videos - THANK YOU
Comment from : @neiljennings8822

Always a help!!! Thank you for reinforcing the pain is real! brAnd I’m allowed to feel it!! ❤
Comment from : @sharonhorwitz7903

I want the pain to stop 🛑
Comment from : @erikavaleries

Thank you 🙏
Comment from : @jamalsalim4349

This grief is what I am really struggling with,nobody gets it,why am I so sad about it they ask brIt hurts so very much
Comment from : @princess_sapphire