Why do you keep attracting narcissists?

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Название	:	Why do you keep attracting narcissists?
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I liked marriage one lasted 15 years and the other 22 years When my second wife divorced me I had joined AA I had little knowledge of narcissism and what those people do to you First two girls are narcs, I did not chase them they chased me I have gone through such a mind fvck for too many years because I guess, I don't follow the crowd as in being promiscuous, etc Those two women caused a lot of misery for me I was finally force out of AA because of gossip and slander and being isolated from all my friends I think I faced off with some demonic power, but they are so pretty! How can evil come out of them? I'm now healing and know it will take time My second wife simply left one morning without notice or note That sent me into a freakout, so I know this will take time as betrayal is a deep thing to deal with
Comment from : Mark H

Guys I don’t quite beleive anyone of you here, most of you are narcissist yourself, why are you all lying to yourself?
Comment from : Noemi Lelay

I had to find this video because I don't want to toss around the "narcissist" term flippantly, but every one of my significant exes sound like narcissists When I first started dating my current partner, I didn't see signs at all He was very sweet, asked me so many questions, remembered everything I told him, spoiled me, showered me with compliments and affection I thought I finally broke my curse But gradually things changed and he's the complete opposite of everything I thought he was I dated a guy for 6 months before him who was twice my age and would get mad at me about everything and was really mean/stonewalled me every day for no reason, my first relationship was borderline sociopathic and yelled at me for crying once because I was "ruining his day" I am a narcissist magnet But even when I've tried to be discerning I've failed myself The consistent things I notice with all 3 is the mind-games (making me feel crazy, warping reality), the circular arguments - they never lose because they make shit up in the moment that can't be argued cause its their word against mine -, the invalidating and defensiveness around my feelings/needs, blaming me for things, picking fights all the time
Comment from : The Common Sense Capricorn

They are like remora to a shark, just parasite off your time and energy They are attracted to the qualities you have that they lack in themselves like good looks, warmth, and intelligence These are big draws, too They think that those qualities in others will make them shine by association or look cooler if they're seen socializing w/ someone so lit and awesome
Comment from : Maravilloso001’s

Because of my childhood experiences, I always thought that this was how people interacted with each other It felt wrong and off, but it was all I knewbrThis made me repeat my codependent behavior throughout my life Now, finally, I have left the codependent prison and I am ready for real relationships ❤
Comment from : carmenl163

When you are around a normal person you can usually feel their energy and who they are that they are not malevolent,brbrBut when around a narcissist i feel like your cant sense that You cant sense their malevolence either because we cant fathom it Instead we sense an unknown… perhaps this unknown reflect what we subconciously crave as being the ‘missing puzzle piece’ as its unknownbrbrMaybe no one particularily is attracted to narcs, but some have just learnt to open their awareness to that energy and decide conciously to avoid that unknown malevolent energybrbrU can usually feel when something is not right with someonebrbrIts that black hole or void It just ends in chaos in relationships because they need you to compensate for what they feel they dont have It never ends well
Comment from : DanZ

I like that she says that the qualities of us that attract narcisists to us , are good things Our being principled, our being responsible, our lovingness etc It's just that these are also "vulnerabilities" so we don't get rid of these qualities but instead be more educated and alert about narciissm
Comment from : ZY Choo

This was very insightful, please make more video's like this
Comment from : Niki Timmermans

Thank you for the compassion part @2mins It is difficult sometimes to rationalize in a positive way
Comment from : Justin Robinson

I say be a bit more like a "picky" person when you're choosing who to date/ partner with Have a list of must haves Have a criteria Have deal breakers Have expectations, and be brave enough/ self confident enough to enforce them
Comment from : EllE EME

<3
Comment from : Endless Univese

Empathy and big heart
Comment from : Душан Силни

I dont put up with them But they always come to things I say and harass me
Comment from : FelizNavidad

2:15 my life story I am sitting in the parking lot waiting for my partner to show up for his bday that he planned Why does this keep happening 😢
Comment from : All aboard the gravy train

Being a people pleaser and conditioned not to say no
Comment from : Diana K

Call it 'karma' You had some karmic account to be settled of some past life with your narc After its settled, the day wil dawn and you walk out
Comment from : Vee Bee

They love naïve, forgiving big hearted ppl
Comment from : JolieFilleNoire

I wish there would be more discussion around this, from attracting overt to covert very important to heal I wonder what would have been next to attract without healing
Comment from : D

Good way to be just with the wrong type
Comment from : BLIQUEMIST26

If he was not physically abusive I would really give him a run
Comment from : BLIQUEMIST26

I married a narcissist for 14 years after dating for 5 years,she was an overt narcissist,we are divorcing now , she abandoned me 6 years ago and is now back with lies seeking divorceShe keeps throwing in one matter after another but soon it would be over i am contemplating not going to court again so she gets her divorce after all my kids are of age , the younger is 17When there is a relief i do not agree with i would appeal the relief in a higher courtI attract narcissists so i have decided i wont accept women who approach me
Comment from : Emmanuel Ofori

This is why you don't give another chance to people that show u nothing but red flags if u already seeing red flags and you're not even together yet how could you possibly think getting involved with them is gonna make it better its only gonna get worst tf lol
Comment from : Fabian69

They need to teach narcissists personalities in high school as an required credit
Comment from : PeterBuilttough

This demon is a narcissist and controlled opposition She blames the victim Nobody "attracts" these vampires, they are sharp as a shark, and they spy and want to know everything (what everybody has, how their house looks, what furniture they have, what games they play, what they talk, what they watch, what spouse they have)
Comment from : poshel naxui

Thank you for your videos Dr Ramani They have been a huge help I watch a couple everyday to remind myself to not get sucked back in and to keep the thought that life is better without the Narc in my life You are a daily dose of happiness when I am reinforced by your videos
Comment from : Tony Carosella

Several relationships I didn’t know why I do now Thanks,
Comment from : Alyce Warr

Not having proper boundaries makes you a target for a narcissist
Comment from : freebird

The narcs flock to me like flies on sh*t Getting tired of it
Comment from : Shellybean

At age 65 I only heard the word narcissism for the first time just over a year ago and I've noticed that I have repeatedly handed myself over to the Narcissistic lowest bidder Now that I am aware of this I'm going to ruthlessly clean house b**/b the bastards
Comment from : Andrew Boyd

Scorpio male 🤔 ok anyone reading too bang 😋
Comment from : Jaime Quintana

Having a narcissistic mother definitely doesn't help
Comment from : Claire Cornish

How did I get stuck in this mess 😂😂
Comment from : Kalesi Andrews

People treat me like a narcissist and a villain, even though I'm willing to be reasoned with, and I want to get better, yet people don't believe me, so now I'm stuck in the loop of not being able to ask for help as much as I need to, without being called an "attention-seeking narcissist"
Comment from : ⭐️RoseaTheBountyHunter⭐️

I almost never leave commented So thank you so much for your words
Comment from : Sara Ashenfelter

I love watching your videos Dr Ramani, i think you're in the perfect job I'm waiting to have some therapy regarding my narcissistic parents, and i hope i get someone like you to help me x
Comment from : hayley t

I wish I knew about narcissism 7 years ago Can't thank you enough DrRamani, I finally divorced the evil witch after reading your book
Comment from : aka76

Not getting subtitles
Comment from : Terry Jones

So which series of videos did this one come out of?brbrWhat is the next the video in the series ? Is this the first one or are there more before this one
Comment from : Kimberly Kay

The comments section of this video are like shared hugs and soft handshakes brJust like support group talksbrPeople soaking sunshine in park & listening to each other's experience gracefullybr🏖️🕊️
Comment from : Nidhi Maheshwari

Something I learned recently* forgiveness is given, but TRUST is earned!
Comment from : Nic I

I love you
Comment from : justL

Me I'm a Narcgnet and Emotional Masochist! A narc quality I have is I don't blame myself
Comment from : nyoracl

God bless you
Comment from : Salam Sinjab

Amazing thanks
Comment from : Salam Sinjab

I feel hopeless, I'm always super attracted to narcissistic men and try to win they're approval I'm starting to spot the pattern, I'm just worried I'll never feel that chemistry with a healthy man
Comment from : Ashley Kathryn

I live with regrets to this day brI blame myself for marrying and choosing one
Comment from : Myiram D Dhif

Doc you best❤
Comment from : Curiosity

I really appreciate your videos Sometimes, I go crazy, thinking there's something wrong with me, but now I realize these are patterns I normalized in childhood I'm so afraid of running into narcs now, that all I want to do is stay at home all day, and not have a social life, because I don't know how to make friends, and the people who do approach me are narcs
Comment from : I’m just visiting

I am!!! All of my friends, and family members I used to have endless energy and positivity they gave nothing back
Comment from : superduper

I attract narcissists because narcissist know that people like me have no reliable recourse to call upon the cruel machinery of the United States Justice System
Comment from : Gavin Gleemonex

Thank you for educating us I just walked away from a narcissistic relationship an hour ago and I’m feeling at peace
Comment from : Zig zag

Being a tough hearted person
Comment from : Sica Danuta

I think Narcs have a way of charming people into their narrativegullibles get entrapped Smart ones escape
Comment from : V G

Early and constant conditioning by NA mother that Im always wrong (even tho I was the victim), I had to be the one who apologized (even tho I was in the right), badgered constantly to be the bigger person (as the youngest, I had to be the biggest person in the family) I was always in the wrong even when I wasnt Enough to confuse a child till the end of their days If Im so smart, how do I constantly get sucked in Breaking down the artificial walls imposed during childhood Now I know it was just more narc supply
Comment from : madeline bock

Why after listening to this video do I not have the answers this video title suggests it will give? We need a video that actually talks about the magnets instead of vaguely discussing it
Comment from : Angela Spangler

I still attract them and I don’t mind Its been extremely easy to identify them after my last relationship which threw me into the arms of a covert narc 😂brbrIt hasn’t even been 2 weeks with the guy I’m currently dating and already see the red flags Now I just need to politely make my escape
Comment from : Terra Dactyl

We are light And we attract moths
Comment from : Ebony Jewel-Star

magnet yeah has to stop or change
Comment from : Jesper Andersson

What if I'm unable of healthy relationships? Could I be a narcissist too?
Comment from : Tymikka Demming

Here’s my devil‘s advocate question …As a highly developed empath and a HSP, I can fall in love - want to move in together and talk about ( intentions of) marriage in the first weeks—why am I not a narcissist? Why can I feel these things and not be a manipulator?brbr( I recently have analyzed these behaviors and will NOT be doing these in the future but I still have the question… Thank you)
Comment from : Nicole Nicole

Narcissistic traits may not be hereditary but it can be generational how the parents treated their children in the family or how the father treated their wives My Kids notices how the way their dad treats me and it affects them An attractive person is more likely to magnet narcs if he/she experienced a childhood trauma like me ( I was molested when I was 5 yrs old by a cousin) An attractive people magnet a lot of men and choose a narc because of their love bombing
Comment from : Ms Pretty Kawaii

We should be taught at an early age how to manage with all this kind of lack of moral values
Comment from : Paracas Nazca

I realized there are biggggg quantities of narcissistic people, in all their degrees , big narcissistic or less, other people who grew up with bad moral and emotional qualities Good people come in small quantities Thus , possibilities of encountering a narcissistic person either for a relationship or for a friendship are big History is full of betrayal stories
Comment from : Paracas Nazca

Basically, what I’m hearing is don’t be who I am, and close off to anyone and everyone
Comment from : Heather Willcockson

1 need to gain knowledge about narcissism
Comment from : E

Yep, family, relationships, jobs and friends Finally turning the corner and getting rid of some of these people and places It is SOO hard and feel excruciating actually placing boundariesbrI can't believe how hard it is with certain individuals for whom mentioning something several times still doesn't get throughbrI have really disillusioned myself over the years Many people have never given a blank and its been a BS show to get XYZbrI am in awe of people who are curt, no nonsense and actually somewhat disagreeable with others in their desire to keep a tight leash around their life brbrI want to be that bold
Comment from : A

Also check out Sandra Brown’s book regarding Super Traits of the victims A study was completed by Purdue University that reflected all victims are very high in agreeableness and conscientiousness Wonderful traits but unfortunately very attractive to narcissists
Comment from : Vickie Whitlock

Not everyone get stuck with narcissistic people ( although I can't stand this world for how overused it's been) Some people just attract only narcissistic guys but they end up being alone because they don't want to start anything with such guys So why that?
Comment from : Aurora Déjà-vu

Aww im this magnet 😞
Comment from : ddt8312

Yes, be a doormat to only those who are nice Really? I'm thinking that this quality that attracts narcissists is unhealthy for all concerned If you practice being a doormat for "healthy" friends, it is still not being true to who you are and what you really want I understand that you are trying to keep codependents from being too hard on themselves, but I think rather than enabling the situation, they are much better served to learn the truth, since the whole truth is the only thing that will bring healing I say stop perpetuating the playing of victim by focusing on the evil narcissists and focus instead on what makes a codependent a codependent if you really want to help
Comment from : Poetic Posturing

God I hope I don’t attract another bloody narcissist
Comment from : Juliepatchouli

I attracted two narcs (Probably) in the last 6 months I can't help myself attracting them But now, I have the education Thanks to you You are the real angel If you were not doing this My life would have been infinite times harder Dr Ramani, I love you Thanks for saving me I'll do some great things in life and you'll be one of the biggest reasonsbrbrSome of these magnetic traits are some of the best parts of myself❤
Comment from : Sayan D Das

In my lifelong experience with narcissists, I’ve learnt that it’s not your weaknesses or ‘vulnerabilities’ that attract them, but anything/any quality you possesss and they desire but cannot achieve themselves It can be a myriad of things such as money, culture, beauty, being outgoing, social contacts, etc
Comment from : Dulce R-L

Thank you
Comment from : Shel ATGmail

Sucked in and stuck in
Comment from : Ashley Ching

i really love you !you going deep in depht empathically way in the dynamic, since 2015 i study by force this dynamic my seeker system due to my primar narcissist open my eye to this fucking stuff, i make a time with new age, damaging stuff and attractive stuff due to our immensly ability to question one self anf feel responsible for all the things that happens to us, this concept of forgiveness that we use since birth, blinding spot the healing journey, repressing the healthy anger and the sense of self, now i am angry with this suff too, but i was very (justification) vulnerable at this time i really love you, in this deep hurt, your knowledge is unconfortable but, deep inside it make sense, now i am close and cynic like ever in my life im untrustful of myself and others but with what i've got now i try to regroup myself and all the empathy that i can have is for us, because we are not alone and here is a safe space, in my scare gut i feel itbrps: i am a french human who learned english during this crazy painful discovery, i'm not going to correct my grammatical mistake, because if i do that pehaps i will erase this comment, i hope that you've got the heart of my sharing,
Comment from : Glad

So what are the vulnerabilities that might attract these toxic persons?
Comment from : Rania Yousef

I love the last part to save the best part of ourselves for someone that deserves it
Comment from : Dont Believe Everything You Hear

alguien sabe cómo puedo poner subtítulos en español?
Comment from : Daniel - MacTavish7

If you walk around with your eyes closed you'll bump into thing's, if you try to climb a mountain blind you'll fall and perish, keep your eyes wide open, but mostly get what you deserve your worth it 👌
Comment from : Robert Hayes