| Название | : | Key Traits Of The High Functioning Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized | Fearful Avoidant Attachment |
| Продолжительность | : | 15.54 |
| Дата публикации | : | |
| Просмотров | : | 226 rb |
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I learned a new term called Ghostlighting by a Fearful Avoidant I am not too fond of FAs at the moment Comment from : tricky92x |
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Wow holy crap THIS IS ME How do I fix this!!!???? Comment from : Bakul Badwal |
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Oh Dear Comment from : Tawroset |
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As a high functioning FA, I have watched so many videos like this (because of course I have!) And this is the most seen I've ever felt outside of 1:1 readings and coaching sessions Incredible Comment from : Kiera Tsenti |
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I'm in a relationship with fearful avoidant INTP personalityI love how empathic he isI'm anxious preoccupied which makes him very mean to me over the yearsbut I guess it's time to act dismissive avoidant more so he will be nicer Comment from : Mother of Intuitives |
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I thought I was anxiously attached but I really see myself in almost everything you’re describing, except spending time with people I love spending a lot of time with loved ones and close friends Comment from : Sarah Nissen |
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It’s me Hi I’m the problem, it’s me Comment from : Liz Chav |
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fuck me that's right on the nose Comment from : HNK |
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The way so many of us didn’t know about us until very late in our lives Comment from : Daniella |
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These descriptions are accurate, but they are not all necessarily nurture Not everything is boiled down to childhood trauma It can be both nature and nurture Comment from : Roseline Og Ogbebor |
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I noticed that fearful avoidants who struggle internally tend to lean dissmisve cause it's too much for them Comment from : Clouds Lady |
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God these videos feel like you did a case study on me lol Comment from : H0wlrunn3r |
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This seems to overlap with autism a lot! Comment from : TwoSteps Backwards |
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I can't speak for all, but a big factor for me is "debriefing" Combing over the information collected during an interaction, mirroring it to how I feel emotionally and figuring out what I did wrong in order to have that outcome There's a heavy emphasis on how I behave and the outcome This is emotionally devastating in a failing relationship brbrThere is no self, because I am always tweaking what I do to suit the environment I'm also quick to bow out if I don't think I can attune to the surroundings, including relationships, because it hits that core message of unworthiness hard Comment from : Macky Gee |
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Thank you so much for your content! It's so informative, I definitely learn a lot and am able to reflect! brbrOne suggestion: sometimes when you speak you sort of mumble the words and speak very quickly at the same time It's hard to understand when you're saying exactly, especially when you use the terms for the different attachment types Maybe you could modify that :)brbrThanks again ❤ Comment from : Ezgi |
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the fact that you described me to a tee is cringing 😳😳 Comment from : Vee |
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this is the best description ive heard of what i assume is my attachment style everything said here is extremely true of me ive felt so guilty the past few years because major trouble came to my life via my partner having a psychotic break due to his own unexamined childhood trauma and i withdrew and stopped talking to nearly everyone in my life, just ghosted them basically i was working on creative projects i really care about with many of these people and i just shut down i have immense guilt from doing this, this video really helped me put this in perspective, plus anyone ive recontacted isnt upset with me for withdrawing, a possibility i so often ruminated about during this time in my life that i am still crawling out of im glad people are waking up to how environment and parenting affects development, something i intuitively understood as a child, but nothing i said/cared about/felt mattered to any adult in my life Comment from : Katie Cohen |
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Love these videos Super informative❤ Comment from : Gianny Diaz |
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Love these videos Super informative Comment from : Gianny Diaz |
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too many things are accurate here LOL Comment from : Lubomir Fotev |
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When I was little around the age of four and five, my mother would tell me all the time that she didn’t “give a damn about my fool feelings“ I often heard that when I was growing up She also would get repulsed if I needed extra Affection or attention Sometimes she would tell me that she would be very glad when the day comes when I didn’t come home from school and tell her about my problems at school She would tell me I’d have to learn how to get the kids off my back She wouldn’t tell me how to get the kids that bullied me off my back I was supposed to just figure that out on my own Comment from : En Jay |
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😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮 Comment from : Mariana Herrera |
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I thought i was an anxious attachment but this is me to the tee 😳 Comment from : Coral Antler |
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Its like you looked into my soul👀 Comment from : Jess |
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i really think this is me ive scored as both anxious and secure at different points but i just have a hunch ive never been in a relationship and though im a hopeless romantic i begin to feel smothered when someone begins to show or even reciprocate my interest and i lose interest in turn i think because ive never been in a relationship it’s hard to answer the questions accurately but im not sure Comment from : Coco B |
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Wow This is me to a T Made me so emotional to feel seen and understood Comment from : Melanie Morales |
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Hi Thais This might be an question you never get I recently descovered I am fearfull avoidant and not much later discovered your channel and bought your book I've been diagnosed not that long ago as part of the autism spectrum I can relate to not seeing the forrest because of the trees, perfectionism, being strict to myself, prefering deep conversations, big intrest in psychology, people pleasing (that is called masking in my diagnosis), highly sensitive for perceived rejections, hypervigilant of that in the eyes, tone of voice, body language I am chronic sick and tired which made me easier overwhelmed and it seems my filter doesn't work as well anymore They think I am "light autistic", I have many friends but also go "through them", I have been bullied from a young age and didn't really understood why I did felt a bit different and defenatly can get a bit much and at times retreat I saw Fa and autism goes together often But could it also look like each other and cause misdiagnosis? I am very empathic, I am just above everage intelligent, finished a bachelor degree whith high marks whilst being sick half of the time and love to party when I don't feel exhausted People prais me for my growth and ambitious mentality even tho it also caused a big feeling of failure when I couldn't work anymore I don't know if you read this but I think there might be something there to explore not only for me or even autism But in general misdiagnosis by certain attachement styles? I also had a friend she was/identified with AP but seemed to have many signs of borderline personality they might go hand in hand idk I will defenatly try looking more into this but I would love to hear from you as the system doesn't take Fa seriously and has already decided the label and doesn't look at it critically Comment from : F |
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It's amazing, I feel completely called out Comment from : Nana Lu |
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Instead of describing the high-functioning fearful avoidant, you should just teach the most effective ways we can off ourselves and end our personal, private, living hells Comment from : Harried Sloth |
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Wow this explains me very well I've been struggling for years not understanding why I do the things I do Sometimes I can't put my feelings into words Thank you for this video as this will help me heal some deep embedded wounds from myself and relationships Comment from : StarGazedTarot |
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GAWD DAMNIT!!!!! bagent K voice/b and Thank You Comment from : Dhope yinyang |
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Thank You 💕😊 Comment from : Ruby Anaya |
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video start at 2:44 Comment from : Maayyy |
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OMG! This is ME!!! Thank u so much!! Comment from : A Brinkley |
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I definitely identify with a lot of those traits Comment from : Nicholas Kennedy |
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Thank you for this video Comment from : jhunsuc12 |
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This is me 😞 Comment from : CottonCandy Flaps |
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Hi Thais! I absolutely love your youtube channel/ PDS videos :)brI'm wondering if you could make some videos about the relationship between attachment and neurodivergent people? For instance, how does attachment differ in neurodivergent folks compared with neurotypical people, which attachment styles are more common for neurodivergent folks (if there is a link there), how do symptoms present the same/differently, etcbrI relate heavily to the fearful avoidant style, but it's hard for me to separate what is actually my attachment style versus characteristics that reflect my brain working differently than most people in our society, and having to navigate that plus shame/ all the thingsbrThank you for your consideration! Comment from : Sophie Linder |
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I'll be like the hundreds of other people under this video: your points are spot on I thought I was alone and yet turns out I am so typical, apparently xD Well, finally a VERY practical & informative channel it was hard to find one like this around youtube! Comment from : Da St |
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Thanks for this video You described me to a T and even what one of my best friends noticed as well 🥺 Comment from : Margarita Camarillo |
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describing my life with every point 😭 Comment from : jsnldn |
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I’m so avoidant when people want to get close but my dismissive “situation ship” makes me super anxious ! Comment from : Pretty Little Passports |
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Omg It’s me😭😭😭😭 Comment from : Pretty Little Passports |
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These videos are so, so helpful! I love that you approach these things with empathy Your comment on FA having drug dependence issues explains something I've noticed about people I've met with substance abuse issues, they seem so people oriented and extremely sensitive to things like rejection It is hopeful thinking that part maybe of overcoming addiction might be learning how to manage attachment styles! I've often felt they seemed to have so much love to give which seems to align with FA style Comment from : imoimo |
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I wish you could work with my therapist and dating coach lol I need someone in my life who understands me to this extent Comment from : sophielinder6 |
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Name-calling It's all name-calling Comment from : fancynancylucille |
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Wow, I do not like spending long periods of time with people because I'm an Introvert!!!!!!! Why do modern psychological systems always want to ignore these basic things? Comment from : fancynancylucille |
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This is me 👍 Comment from : erikbyt |
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Thanks Tais for a long time i thought its me alone who has attachment issues, your talks have now made me realise my circle of aquaintance are not all securely attached, no they all have issues too that they have to own their stuff its taken the pressure off Comment from : Dela Maiwald |
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2:45 Comment from : Mama |
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Your channel helps me so much and your eyes are the eyes of Ibad and Your voice is Anime so I'm just gonna literally cuddle you through my tablet and I know that weird as heck but like DUDE IM SO ALONE I AM ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED TO YOUR CHANNEL BC YOU ARE THE ONLY THING IN MY YT ALGORITHMS THAT IS THERE FOR ME ON SOME ISSUES THAT YOU ARE TARGETING WHEN I JUST HAD NO IDEA OF WHAT THIS ISSUES WAS BC I DIDNT HABE A LABEL TILL YOU CATOGOGUE IT FOR ME LOL SORRY IM YELLING AT YOU RN BUT PLEASE ADOPT ME Comment from : a3dx _o7 |
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I'm anxious preoccupied with a cheating FA who won't move out I applied for a scholarship did you guys read it yet? Comment from : ShortingTheTrend |
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I started sobbing 3 minutes into the video and continued to cry throughout I've never heard someone describe me word for word, so closely expressing my every thought and reason behind actions Limerence is something I've experienced since childhood I knew I was fearful avoidant but still, I'm truly speechless Comment from : Jessica Merced |
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I feel seen and I DO NOT like it Comment from : MostlyCloudy |
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I’ve been working on attachment behaviors for 2 years and all this time I thought I was anxious, but FA sounds so much like me! I retook the quiz yesterday and I am more secure now at 44 and insecure FA at 25! I not only feel more healed, but I feel like the results resembles that Now that I know I’m more of an FA, I’m kind of excited to start working on things that I feel is the next step in my journey! Comment from : Virginia Spikes |
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I’m a FA, INFJ, HSP I’m assuming molded by childhood trauma?😂😉 Comment from : Karin Teeples |
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May I ask, are you a Christian? Comment from : Julia Bentley |
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Is this a legit therapist? Comment from : A E |
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Its like all of the sudden i become so anxious i need to get away as far as i can from them, even though i love them, like a snap of a finger and i have to get away Comment from : Du Plooy |
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I even find it difficult to bond with my animals Comment from : Du Plooy |
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We’ll just read my file out loud why don’t you! lol😉 really very helpful helps me understand myself better I swear I struggle with this so much and I see and feel like I can’t control it and just be who I want to be And I thank God for insight and understanding With faith I will continue to heal and grow Comment from : tdubblz |
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JFC I am 15/15 Comment from : Deb Danielle |
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Describes me spot on Comment from : Sadia Arman |
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So I'm taking Fearful Avoidant to be a possible subclinical BPD?? Meaning, someone who may not fit the full criteria for a BPD diagnosis but still a lot of this push-pull, difficulty with relationships due to a need for closeness, but behaviors that push people away? Some of the characteristics sound similar Comment from : NPKRN |
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It's scary how accurate this is 😳 Comment from : Jessica Taylor |
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I’m pretty sure I’m fearful avoidant… but if there’s one thing I’m good at It’s changing and healing wounds inside of mebrbrThank you for this informationbrThe more I learn the more I understandbrThe more I understand the faster I can changebrbrNothing is finite I can do this!! Comment from : Rebecca Julia 🕊 |
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What would be recommended if you know you have a kid that is FA? How can you start healing the wound from that age? Comment from : Melissa Kelly |
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I relate to 14 of the traits you mentioned I'm very fearful and avoidant for sure If I was in a relationship now I would probably struggle between being too clingy and too avoidant I wanna get therapy for this before I even think about getting into a relationship I was also raised by two narcissistic parents and I have trauma with SA I need to open up about I know I have a lot of work to do to change and improve on this Growing up with narcissistic parents seriously effects your attachment style I want to put in the work to unlearn many things my narcissistic parents taught me like having a fear of abandonment and etc Comment from : Runnings rage |
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Oooof, I’ve been both versions High achieving over-giver & the addict whose life was a bit of a dumpster fire 😑 Comment from : That Rachelle girl |
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Sounds like an unhealthy Enneagram 6 or 4! Comment from : Sarah Durham |
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I even have to earn my food Self imposed The over achiever deep diver currently relating to a self medicating addictive avoider Both in our first in many years and both OVER 50 YIKES!!!! Comment from : K Kameron Busby |
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Dang, and i thought I had learnt all I needed to know abt my relational patterns from diving into eneagram and the 7 type Until I decided to give it a try to attachment style We people are almost as predictable as a math equation (As long as you understand how to de-code the factors involved, of course) Comment from : Soffía Corrales |
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I was 'diagnosed' with a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment (with an AAP interview) in a clinic I'm pretty sure that I was able to develop a more secure attachment over time now but I can still check almost every box to some degree, some of them even completlybrbrI am so bad with small-talk and still haven't figured it out It always feels artificial to me I wasn't aware that this was a part of this attachment style Comment from : Tetra Hexaeder |
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Omg on point Comment from : tara de la rama |
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As an FA, I always attract DAs, I think it is because when they make me anxious it makes me feel and although it makes the top spin off eventually just being able to feel is nice sometimes 😔brbrAlso, thought I was this unique person, turns out I am not 🙈 I tick all the boxes in this video Just an FA trying to now work on myself Comment from : Christo du Plessis |
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Jesus Christ Comment from : Shanks |
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OMG you just explained the person I was dealing with in this video I wish I came crossed it sooner so I could've better understood them more Comment from : khayslays |
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FA’s are chaotic and exhausting They are the worst partner bc they are emotionally unreliable and unstable As much as I cared for the person & we both knew they were FA, it was truly the worst relationship I’ve ever experienced The hot cold was brutal to deal with and it just began to feel like emotional abuse I had to cut my ties with them because they brought so much unnecessary drama into my life and it felt toxic to my well-being I started to feel bad and on edge allbrthe time Truly a terrible experience Comment from : Navy_moon |
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Perfect! When the thing u like and are scared of most is in one place :( Sounds so painful! Must have gone through really difficult childhood Comment from : Pavithra Melpal |
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Thank you so much for this video, I am blown away with how accurate your profile is I actually got a little emotional hearing all of the things I struggle with on a day-to-day basis Now that I know what the problem is I can start working toward becoming a securely attached human being Thank you so much Comment from : amy morgan |
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Wow you Litterally just summed up me completely Comment from : Hetti Jayne |
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How would you suggest bringing this topic to someone? so I know someone is Fearful Avoidant but is not the easiest to talk to on topics like this Comment from : Elizabeth Henderson |
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I’m bipolar and all this rings so true to me Makes me wonder how much of it is all just learnt behaviour Comment from : Luke Boyle |
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Kkkkkk woman why are you attacking me thanks from da to fa Comment from : Nym eria |
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I used to think that I should be able to fix and adapt to everyone's emotions Now I understand that expressing myself and let others fix themselves might be better Comment from : line fire |
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I took the quiz challenge and results are I'm 50 DA ,42FA,8secure 🤣lolno hopes left for me atleast in this life Comment from : Mrn K |
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Wow The accuracy is ridiculously on point Comment from : Alina Weiss |
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Is one of the traits that we don't have the patience to listen to The Long intro? Comment from : Karee B |
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So I’m thinking I may be an FA, but my girlfriend wow, she may very well be Question, she seems to be an open person, is it OK to bring up to her that I think she might be? Or would that take off an FA? Comment from : Brandon Lesko |
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